Saturday, June 25, 2005

Split Second.

Suddenly I feel like blogging over here again. Maybe coz Im feeling low and down.

Lately, life sucks. All I feel was juz a split second btw heaven or hell. Juz a split secod btw smiling and crying. I dunno wad I wan, wad I dunwan. It's juz not so me.

I will be turning 21 in less than 12hrs. But is that important.? I hate this part of life Im having now. I hate this side of me Im facing now.

Friday, May 13, 2005

It's Been A Long Time..

The Keys to Your Heart :

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Monday, April 25, 2005

Most Probably...

Yup.. Most probably, this will be the last entry which all of you can see.. This simply means that Im going to change my blog address, and haf no further intentions to share it with everyone else except you-know-who..

A change. For the better. Too often, people tends to abuse the rights given to them. And therefore, they shall not haf any from now onwards.. Anyway. no offences everyone! :)

Let me live my life the way I want to. Let us live our life we want to. Freedom. Space. And break-free.

Quote of the Day - In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Hor Hor.. :X

Oops. I forgot to give morning call to my maid this morning.. :x I'm soooooo sorry.. :x

830am :

-hp vibrates-
me : hello?
she : where are you?
me : Tanah Merah MRT station. why?
she : wat happened?
me (worried) : wat wat happen?
she : Im waiting for ur morning call..??
me (eyes opened wide) : Oh.. shit.! Sorry.. I forgotten..
-Followed by repeated "sorry"-
she :It's okie.. Dun worry..
me : I am still tinking of you during the whole journey..
she : oh yah... - sounds unbeliveable-
me : really la..
she : okie. I gotta go pack my bag..
-phone hang up after our "bye"-

Dear ah.. Really la.. Im thinking of you during the whole journey from home to office.. I had been repeating listening to the song "Best In Me" by Blue..

"From the moment I met you
I just knew you’d be mine
You touched my hand
And I knew that this was gonna be our time
I don’t ever wanna lose this feeling
I don’t wanna spend a moment apart

Chorus:
’cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That’s why I’m by your side, and that’s why I love you

Every day that I’m here with you
I know that it feels right
And I’ve just got to be near you every day and every night
And you know that we belong together
It just had to be you and me

Chorus...
And you know that we belong together, it just had to be you and me
’cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That’s why I’m by your side’cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That’s why I’m by your side, and that’s why I love you
’cos you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do
That’s why I’m by your side, and that’s why I love you"

Juz to tell you that all these days, you really bring out the best in me.. Im really so happy spending each and every day with you.. You make my day, even though how shitty it might be.. :) I really hope we can go through all those restrictions and self-barriers. I know we can make it if only you believe... :)

Quote of the Day - Coz you bring out the best in me, like no-one else can do. That’s why I’m by your side, and that’s why I love you.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Unforgettable...

Havent been blogging.. Did I???

Anyway, yesterday at IBM.. Both AR team and Billing team and manager took time off (everyone left office ard 2pm) to haf a hi-tea buffet at Royal Singapore Hotel.. No special occasion. It's juz a gathering of both teams, using up the fund set for employees I guess.. But we need to top up the extra $$$.. Photos was taken and added to the link in the photos section.. Haf fun seeing them..! :)

Today. Arranged a trip to BUKIT TIMAH HILL (blink to kamkam) with my maid, york..!!! Intend to meet up at 830am at yishun to haf breakfast together before setting off.. But due to unforseen circumstances, we meet up only at 930am. Had BK breakfast. Been a long time since I had breakfast PROPERLY..!! :)

Boarded the bus 852.. Okie. The journey is pretty long, and we bypassed a lousy polytechnic.. -bleah- Hmms. Here'comes 1st tradegy of the day. Hahas. We missed our bus-stop, and nearly get to Bukit Batok Interchange. Without much choices, we got down at some wulu wulu place.. Took 15mins to cross the road, coz there's too much cars..?? -.-

CABBED down to BUKIT TIMAH HILL carpark.. End of 1st tradegy.

Btw. There's no time check all this while.. Dunno why too.. We started our journey in the park.. Okie.. At the starting, when we come to road path options, I will take the choice.. Throughout the whole journey, I juz walk behind york, coz I was panting away?? No laa.. Juz tat I wan her within my sight.. In case she fall, I can TRY to support (only if not crushed to death too) Hahas.

We walked, n walked n walked.. Countless flight of stairs, countless of perspire droplets. Wanted to bring her to the "rock path" but realised I forgot the route to it too.. Whenever we came to a junction, we will juz make a choice through gut feeling, taking for granted tat we will get to the summit by any path.. :X

Things are amiss. But we continued walking.. Then without realising it, we came to 2nd tragedy of the day. WE LOST OUR WAY!! Damn! And it started to haf drizzling.. Okie. Everything was soOooo "perfect". The lost of way and the rain. -.-

Then we came to this path.. It's super wet and muddy.. And we started to worry when we saw tat's infront. A real high slope up, without any proper stairs. Juz tree branches and tree trucks to move our way up. We started climbing.. Halfway the journey up, york suggested U-turning.

Okie. So we started U-turning. -Faint- The super wet and muddy path again. With rain drops falling on our head... How we feel? Pathetic I guess.. Only then I realised, on bukit timah hill, yes you might not get lost AFTERALL, but you muz really haf the energy to go on walking and walking.. :( Coz except from walking, there's nth else much you can do.. -.-

to york - I still tink there's a path all the way up to the steep slope.. But somehow we U-turn at that pt of time. Think abt it.. There's a wooden planks there, which mean there's should lead to somewhere. And from the wooden planks, there's no more junction but a single file route.

Anyway, I continued my story of 2nd tradegy..

We came back to the same junction and took a different path.. We saw 2 man walking out of the path.. So we followed. Coz anyway, we already lost our way, no pt going in circles in the forest.. Okie. we think it's really funny when we got out of the forest. It's a more wulu place. Somehow a hole out of the forest, yet another unfamiliar place..

We took a short rest. And continued to walk in the direction of the 2 man had took.. But we already lost sight of them, so we're on our own again.. We walked and walked. Saw this 2 man eventually. They rested at some back of the cliff, according to me..

So we continued walking. Pls bear in mind, we are still at tradegy no.2 coz we are still losing our way.. :x

As we walked, we realised we came this big patch of grassland and this bicycle trail in bukit timah hill.. On our way, we approached some cyclists.. And they told us the road ahead is quite far.. But both of us came to a conculsion tat U-turning is equally far too, and we will juz lost our way again in the forest.. So might as well took a way tat will at least lead us to "somewhere", despite it might be far....

So we juz continued walking w/o knowing leading to where... We saw 2 ah-mohs and a local gal on the way.. They asked us for directions.. Hahas.. We told them we lost our way too, so we're unable to give any advices.. They tried to crack some jokes, which I really dun feel like laughing.. Anyway we moved on again..

Saw this Dairy Farm Adventure Building.. There's human beings inside, but it's all fenced up.. So we juz continued our journey. Walked and walked, we finally saw a concrete normal street road... Wow..!! Finally.!! We saw a car.. We knew we are at least saved. Lols. :)

This time round, we made the right choice, and continued walking which lead us to the Expressway..!! Hahas.. Cool rite? From Bukit Timah Vistor Centre to some Expressway.!! Hahas. From here, we marked our 2nd tradegy.. Phew..~~

Then I wanna cab back to Bukit Timah Hill.. But york said we might be able to walk back.. So we continued to walk ard the roadside.. After like 15mins walk, we knew something was not so right again. But we had reached a place where's there's a 7-11, cold storage, and some shops.. So we went in cold storage to get a cold drink..!!

After tat, we decided to take a cab again.. For the 2nd time, we CABBED to Bukit Timah Hill again.. Okie. Stop laughing at us!! -.-

You might be wondering how come we wanna cab there again.. Coz our main purpose of going there is that I wanna bring her to see the Quarry at Bukit Timah Hill (the revamp part). We tot we could make our way to the summit first, come down and then, I will bring her to the Quarry which is on the other side of Bukit Timah Hill.. But yah, unfortunately, blar blar blar... -.-

Brought her to the Quarry. After that, we went to haf a short washing up session.. And then we walked out to take the bus again.. Okie. Bus-stop. We haf to decide which bus-stop, the right or left one, haf our bus back.. -slap forehead-

Boarded the bus like 3pm..?? Then we had lunch at yishun ljs.. Rushed back to our individual homes.. Bathed and changed. Had arranged to meet up with tee at 5pm at Queensway shopping centre.. Only managed to meet up with york at yishun mrt station at 430pm? From there, we took bus 855 to queenway. Reached ard 525pm? -sorry tee!!-

Tee brought the bag she wants.. Heng.. At least all of us din make a wasted trip down.. :)

From there, we took another bus to Jurong Pt Interchange. Both of them had this poly fren's bday gathering over there. So after I send them to the mrt station, and they meet up with their fren, I make my way home too.. :)

Been a tiring day.. Can feel some aching on my right knee already.. :( But still, it's my first time goin to bukit timah hill for so many times, and lost my way inside.. It's a memorable one.! Sorry york, made u walked so long with me.. Hope u haf some fun anyway.! :)

-pics will be posted some other time-

Quote of the Day - Every step you take will definitely lead you to somewhere. It's only if you're courageous enough to take that step.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Life....

Nothing much to say at this moment of time.. Juz would like to express many thanks to many all for showing concern to me regarding some particular issue these days..

Sometimes I really wish to remove this blog.. Or rather move it to some other url.. Words are kinda hard to be blog down, when everyone's looking at it..

Everyone, LIFE GOES ON... :)

Quote of the Day - Some words are better left unsaid. Especially when all things doesn't really matters anymore.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Day 1 Of Losing You...

How am I feeling? POS (Piece of shit).

You're the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep, and you're first thing on my mind when I opened my eyes.. I shouted a loud "Wo de tian ah" while lying on my bed.. Tears began to fall.

Went for my shower. I juz stood there like a zombie, not knowing wad to do.. Back to my own room.. I stared into the mirror, and look at my own reflection. Those pair of eyes turned watery once again..

Time to gel my hair. I looked at the basin mirror, totally blank. I used my towel to cover my face, and lean against the mirror and cried.

Got out of house. Every step I took, all memories of us gushed into my tiny brain.. I asked myself will you rem to buy smthing to eat on ur school days...?? Suddenly, I recalled the marks and spencer biscuits you gave it to me.. It's in my office desk..

In the train. I recalled that I wanted to borrow ur digital camera for this week friday office gathering lunch.. You told me tat you'll charge the battery for me..

Then I saw this guy. Wearing the pair of shoe that you said it's ugly.. The exactly same pair of shoe ur bro haf..

Sitting in the train, tears started flowing again. It was embarrassing. But I had lost control of it. Emotion had taken all over me. I opened up my right palm, hoping to caresse your hair, your face once again, but I knew you're not with me anymore..

The walking journey to IBM was almost unbearable. The wind was blowing on my face, reminding me of the kite session we planned to haf..

Why? Can someone tell me why? Im in pain, in agony. I know you feel the same way too.. I really feel like msging you, asking you how are you feeling right now.. But I lack the guts, the courage, everything. Most importantly, I'm lacking of you.

I suddenly feel like life is so meaningless.. There's no one good reason to live on. I am trying to be strong, but I feel like collapsing any moment.

Life is painful to the both of us right now.

Quote of the Day - In shakespeare time, there's Romeo and Juliet. In ancient chinese, there's liang shan bo and zhu ying tai. Today, there's us.